I've found out my partner is having an affair? Should I dump them?
When you find out that your partner is having a relationship with someone else it can be devastating, not just for you but for your family. You might feel scared for the future, hurt, angry and low.
But should you leave a partner who strays?
Can you trust them again?
Will you ever be ready for another relationship if this one ends?
All of these questions begin to buzz around you’re head. You’ll probably be scared and it’s often not like the movies. You don’t just sling them out and get them gone out of you’re life. It doesn’t work like that.
But seriously, if you have come across this blog post them you will be wondering what to do next. So here are some things that you really must do before you make any concrete decision.
Give yourself a bit of time.
Whether they have come clean or you have found out by mistake, it’s important to give yourself some time to take stock and access what events took place. If you go in all guns blazing (i know you will want to) and attack your partner you may cause them to panic and you won’t get to the bottom of the situation.
Give them time to explain.
Trust me on this one, not all people that cheat are bad. Not all people that cheat will cheat forever. It doesn’t mean that you have to sling them out. If you have done the first step and talk to them calmly, you may find that they open up. People have affairs for all sorts of reasons and there will be reason why your partner was committed to you and now they are not.
When they talk to you, try to put your feelings aside and really listen to what they are saying. It will give you some insight into why they did what they did, how it made them feel and what is going on in your relationship to make them stray.
3. Ask questions but mainly focus upon the actual facts
You are going to hurt yourself even more if you ask your partner whether the person was better in bed. That’s a fact! This one is really hard but, honestly, it’s painful enough to find out about an affair let alone the gory details about what they did, how long it went on for and the dates they went on. Sometimes ignorance is actually bliss and you will save yourself from further heart ache if you just stick to the facts.
4. Work out what happens next
If your partner chooses to continue the affair then this may be out of your hands but if they choose to end it then pause. It’s only after to you have found out all of the facts and heard your partner out that you will be able to make a decision about what to do.
The hurt that you will be feeling will be incredible but pause before you end things based upon hurt. Feelings change with time and you might make a decision that you can’t go back on if you act hastily.
5. Talk about it.
You might feel that this article is enough. That’s okay, you know what you have to do.
However, you might also feel like you need to talk about it. If that’s the case then call me on 07525051263