Before I write any more on the topic of Sexual Anxiety, please bare in mind that that this post is for those who are in safe, loving relationships but whom may be affected by past trauma or certain anxious tendencies that have affected your sex life or your sexual performance.
Some people experience Sexual Anxiety when they are in controlling, toxic, and abusive relationships. They may also experience it when the relationship is breaking down or simply not right for them. Its a complicated subject and one that requires a lot of self inquiry.
So I would recommend that you take the time to reflect on what is written here and work out what is going on in yourself and your relationship in order to work out the next course of action.
What is Sexual Anxiety?
Sexual Anxiety is an offshoot of Generalised Anxiety but it can relate to very specific trauma, It can also stem from shyness, social anxiety, the way you perceive your body and a severe lack of self confidence.
If you think about it, to have sex is to be vulnerable.
The person or people that you chose to have sex with will know all of you. The stretch marks and the wobbly bits. Not to mention the fact that they will be able to see parts of you from angles that not even you have seen yourself. Its a very revealing experience.
Those of us whose bodies have been the object of judgement, or those of us who have had our personal boundaries violated by other human beings in cases of sexual abuse can feel the most powerful negative human emotion that exists. SHAME.
How does Sexual Anxiety relate to Shame?
Shame is so powerful. Its powerful because it is linked to death.
Prehistorically, if a group rejects us, we lose our access to food, shelter, security from predators and the ability to mate. In the wild a lot of pack animals die if they are rejected by the group and cannot find another one relatively quickly.
Shame is about rejection.
So to take our clothes off, without instagram filters and to perform is a vulnerable thing to do and you could be rejected. This is why men who experience sexual anxiety often experience either premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction. The ability to perform is tied up with a mans sense of masculinity and his ego.
Women tend to freeze, have difficulty expressing their needs sexually and can have difficulty reaching orgasm. A lot of women who I work with have a tendency to no feel anything and just let their partner get on with it.
5 Signs that you might be suffering from Sexual Anxiety
Difficulty looking your partner in the eye or meeting their gaze
Feeling numb or ‘freezing’ during sex or even when a partner just wants to feel close
Having a sex drive or fantasizing about sex but not actually doing the act with your partner
Being overly concerned with how you look or act during sex
Avoiding sex altogether even though you realise you have a desire for it
Sex is such a vital part of a relationship and it plays a significant role in your overall health that’s its important to address what is going on so that you can get over the things that are holding you back and flourish in your intimate relationships. That’s why I have set up specific hypnotheraputic methods for sexual anxiety and you do not have to see me face to face to benefit from it. You can benefit from sessions remotely, or in recordings that are sent straight to your device.
To feel confident again you need to deal with the root cause of why it happend in the first place.
Hypnotherapy can be used as a way to understand yourself better, to calm down your flight or fight response and to help you to regulate your emotions so that you can enjoy yourself again.
If you would like to try hypnotherapy as a way to deal with the cause of your anxiety. Then wherever you are, please get in touch.